At Last Read online

Page 36

  Author: Jill Shalvis

  “Bite me. ”

  Josh grinned for the first time all morning. “Ah, man. You’re so going down. Just like Ty. Give me half that donut. ”

  “Hell no. ”

  “I need it more than you. ”

  Matt shoved it into his own mouth.

  “You’re an asshole,” Josh said.

  “Maybe. ” He chewed and swallowed. “But I don’t have two people swinging from the chandeliers in my office. ”

  Chapter 19

  Sure, chocolate has more calories than love, but it’s way more satisfying.

  Amy woke up at dawn, groggy from the pain pill. Josh had put a waterproof bandage on her wound, so she was able to shower. After, she dressed and then walked out of her bedroom to start the coffee, stopping short on her way to the kitchen.

  Riley was asleep on her couch.

  “Hey,” Amy said in surprise.

  Snapping to immediate alertness, Riley jerked upright, her hand coming up with something glinting in her fist.

  A knife.

  “Whoa,” Amy said, bending a little at the waist to ease the tightening on her stitches. “Just me. ”

  Riley’s hand vanished behind her. “Sorry. You startled me. ” Her eyes narrowed in on the way Amy was favoring her side. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I got cut on the broken glass last night, needed a few stitches. ”

  Riley paled. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. ” She rushed off the couch and came toward Amy. “I’m so sorry. Are you all right?”

  “Yes. Are you?”

  “I’m fine—Forget me. How many stitches? How did I not know this?”

  “Maybe because you vanished on me. Are you really okay?”

  Riley blew out a breath and nodded shakily. “This shouldn’t have happened to you. ”

  Amy pushed a pale, shaky Riley back to the couch. She sat next to her and reached for her hand. “I’m okay, honest. And I’m glad I was there. If I hadn’t shown up when I did…”

  Riley closed her eyes. “I know. ” She opened her eyes, her expression fierce. “I didn’t do anything wrong. ”

  “I know. ”

  “I mean, I’ve changed. I’m changing. ”

  Amy leaned in and hugged her tight. “It wasn’t your fault. ”

  “But it was! He was after me, not you. ” Riley pulled free and stood. She picked up her backpack.

  “Riley,” she said softly. “Can’t you tell me about it? I can help. I can—”

  “No. ” Riley shook her head violently. “I’ve screwed everything up. ” Riley closed her eyes for a beat, then headed to the door.

  “I know more than you think,” Amy told her. “I was the queen of screwup when I was a kid, and I only got worse as a teen. I screwed up over and over again, and then, by the time I was in real trouble, no one cared. I’d made sure of it. ”

  Riley turned to face her but said nothing, breaking Amy’s heart with her doubt.

  “You can tell me anything,” Amy said. “Anything. ”

  Riley hesitated, then shook her head and reached for the door. “Sorry. I’m so sorry, but I gotta go. ”

  And then there was nothing but the sound of the front door shutting hard.

  Amy was still sitting on the couch when her cell rang.

  “I’m giving you today off,” Jan said.

  “Not necessary. ”

  “You were stabbed on my premises last night,” Jan said. “I don’t want Lucille getting the story or pics. The negative press will kill me. Take a damn day off. ”

  “I wasn’t stabbed!”

  “Good. Go with that. ”

  “But—”

  But Jan was already gone.

  Fine. Amy loaded her sketchpad and a few snacks into her backpack. If she couldn’t work, she’d clear her head and draw. In fact, now that she thought about it, she needed that more than anything she could think of.

  Well… other than the need to be near Matt, the guy she’d promised herself she wouldn’t fall for. Except she’d broken that promise. How else could she explain parking at the North District Ranger Station? She could have gone out on her own patio to sketch, but she’d come here.

  Fine. Maybe she wasn’t up for a hike or figuring out her grandma’s cryptic journey right now, but the grounds here were beautiful and peaceful, and she spent an hour sitting on a rock in front of a creek with her sketchpad, trying to clear her mind.

  It refused to be cleared. Instead, it kept wandering to Matt. This distance between them was her own doing. Not a surprise, as she’d been sabotaging her own happiness for a long time. She’d known this thing with him would eventually fall apart, but she’d been secretly hoping it wouldn’t.

  And if that wasn’t a terrifying thought. For the first time in her life, she wanted to ride the train to the end of the line instead jumping off before it even stopped.

  You lied to him…

  Worse, she’d lied to herself. All her life she’d lived with something hanging over her head. But being in Lucky Harbor this year, staying in one place, making a life for herself… she’d lost her vigilant edge.

  She didn’t regret that.

  She liked having a decent place to live, a job that paid the bills and allowed her the freedom to draw when she wanted. She liked making the kind of keeper friends she’d always dreamed of having.

  That’s what Mallory and Grace were to her, keepers.

  Matt, too, if she was being honest. Yeah, she liked him, way too much. She was going to have to face that sooner or later. The truth was, she’d long ago given up believing or trusting in others.

  And then she’d come here to Lucky Harbor.

  Inhaling the damp forest air, she looked up and locked eyes on Matt. He stood a football field away, on the porch of the ranger station building, his back to her as he talked to two other uniformed officers. He looked big and tough as hell, with his shirt stretched taut over his broad shoulders, the gun on his hip gleaming in the sun.

  Flustered to find herself aroused just looking at him, she glanced down at her sketch and then up again, insistently drawn to him.

  He was gone.

  She forced herself to sit there another few moments. He hadn’t seen her, she told herself. Because if he had, he’d have come over. He wasn’t a coward like her. She inhaled a deep breath, found her backbone, packed up her things, and headed to the building. “Is Matt Bowers busy?” she asked the ranger at the front desk.

  The guy laughed. “Always. But his office is the last on the right, go on back. ”

  She found him standing before his desk, hands on hips, jaw dark with stubble, looking down at a mountain of paperwork like he was facing a firing squad. He seemed impossibly imposing, and a little pissed off. His eyes tracked directly to her and though nothing in his tough-guy stance changed, his eyes warmed.

  In response, everything within her warmed. She didn’t really understand that, how it could still be this way, how it felt stronger each and every time she saw him. He’d hurt her. She’d hurt him—though he didn’t even know it yet. And still, she wanted him. She wanted his hands on her, his mouth on her, him on her, making her forget everything in the way only he could. “Am I interrupting?” she asked.

  “Not even a little bit. ”

  Given the stacks on his desk, this was an obvious lie. His gaze roamed over her. “How are you?”

  “Fine. ”

  “Truth, Amy. ”

  Truth… The truth was that his shoulders were so wide they practically blocked out the light, plenty wide enough for her to set her head down and lose herself in him for a few. Only a few.

  Not that she would. “I’m managing. ”

  “I drove by your place last night. Everything looked dark and quiet. You sleep okay?”

  “Yeah. ”

  “I came by again about an hour ago to talk to Riley. She wasn’t
there. ”

  “She had things to do. ”

  Their eyes met and held for a long beat.

  “You’re not okay,” he finally said. “You’re flushed. ”

  “Sunburn. I forgot sunscreen. ”

  He didn’t say anything to that, and the silence just about did her in. “It’s not just sex,” she said. “Not to me. ”

  He still didn’t speak, but she knew by his absolute stillness that she had his undivided attention.

  “I’m sorry I let you think it,” she said. “And okay, maybe some of it is about the sex, but that’s because it’s the best sex that I’ve ever had. But it’s not all about the sex. ”

  Matt might be laid-back and easygoing but he wasn’t slow. In three steps he closed the distance between them and pulled her in, right up against him. He felt so good she actually moaned, a sound he silenced with a kiss.

  She had no idea how a man could be so terrifyingly gentle in the way he held her and yet at the same time plunder her mouth so roughly. But that’s exactly what he was, both gentle and rough.

  It was exactly what she needed.

  “Don’t let me hurt you,” he said, lips on her jaw, making their way to her ear.

  Too late, far too late. To share the pain, she turned her head and nipped his lower lip. Sucking in a breath, he laughed softly. “Tough girl,” he murmured, and cupping her face, kissed her again. There was nothing controlled about him now as his tongue tangled with hers, his hands wandering madly from her face to her hips, ending up back in her hair to hold her head still. She pressed even closer, needing him in a way she couldn’t even fathom. She wanted him, wanted him to pull off her clothes, wanted to pull off his, now. She glanced at his overloaded desk.

  Matt followed her gaze, his own darkening. “I like the way you think,” he said, and shoved all the stacks of paperwork to the floor. “Lock the door. ”

  Her nipples tightened into two ball bearings. “Will anyone hear us?” she whispered.

  His smile was lethal and filled with nefarious, bad boy intent. “Us?”