Accidentally on Purpose Read online

  “No, I’m going to say this, goddammit. When she was dying, she made me promise to . . . well, not be me. She made me promise to be gentle and kind and . . .” His mouth shut and his eyes went suspiciously shiny. He cleared his throat. “My point is that I thought she was wrong. I thought the way to deal with my son was the way my father dealt with me. Like a hard-ass. Tough. Unbending. To build character.” He shook his head. “But I promised her, even knowing I wasn’t going to do it. And I failed her. I failed you.”

  “No, you didn’t,” Archer said. He squeezed his dad’s hand. “I wouldn’t have responded to gentle and kind and you know it. I was a serious punk-ass, Dad.”

  “Yeah.” A small smile. “You were. You were also smart, sharp, and intensely serious. You had to be. I never let you be a kid. I didn’t listen.” He leaned in, his eyes serious. Intent. “But I’m listening now, Archer. I want more than this, just seeing each other at holidays or when we’re shot.”

  “Yeah, let’s definitely stop meeting when we’re shot.” Archer closed his eyes.

  “So you’ll consider it?”

  “What?”

  “Being my son again.”

  Again that tight sensation in his chest made it hard to breathe. He opened his eyes and met his dad’s gaze. “I never stopped.”

  His dad reached out and hugged him then, slapping him, thankfully on his good shoulder, as he did.

  “Don’t squeeze,” Archer gasped.

  “Shit. Right. Sorry.” His dad pulled back, swiped an arm over his wet eyes. “Goddamn, there’s something in my eye.”

  “Or you’re crying.”

  “Shut up.”

  Archer managed a smile but it faded at the look on his dad’s face. “What now?”

  “That woman you kicked out of here. Elle. She hasn’t left your side once since you were brought in here, until now. She hasn’t slept, and from what I understand your friends had to pressure her to even eat and she barely did that. She clearly loves you very much. You’re going to owe her an apology. Loving you ain’t gonna be easy, trust me.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know. Dad?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Maybe you could get her to come back in here. But you have to ask, with a please. She likes the please.”

  “I’ll send her back in if you want.”

  A few minutes later, Spence came back into the room. Alone.

  “Where’s Elle?”

  “Gone,” Spence said.

  “Gone where?”

  Spence didn’t answer and Archer took his first good look at his best friend. His shirt was wrinkled, his hair standing up like he’d used his fingers as a comb, and he had black circles of exhaustion beneath his eyes. “You look like you should be lying in one of these beds.”

  “You sure you want to insult me?” Spence asked. “Because I’m the only thing protecting you from the girls, who want to know what the hell you’ve done to Elle. And on that subject, you’re an idiot, by the way.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You told her you loved her at the scene, you know that? The bullet nicked an artery and you went downhill fast. We thought you were going to bleed out and you told her you loved her. Like you were saying goodbye. And then you wake up and tell her you don’t want her here.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Actually,” Spence said, “now that I think about it, you’re not just an idiot, you’re an asshole. An idiot asshole.”

  Archer tried like hell to remember telling Elle he loved her but he couldn’t. Still, he knew one thing. “I meant it.”

  “So did I.” Spence pointed at him. “Idiot asshole.”

  “No, I meant I love her. Shit—give me a phone.”

  He must have looked even worse than he felt because Spence actually hit Elle’s number before handing Archer his phone.

  He went straight to her voice mail. Fuck. He struggled to sit up and gasped at the pain, vision going all cobwebby. “You need to get me out of here.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think you’re ready,” Spence said. Captain Obvious.

  He definitely wasn’t ready but Elle was out there somewhere, doubting him. Again. And it was all his own fault. “I’ll sign out AMA.”

  “Against medical advice is a dumbass move,” Spence said.

  “Okay, Plan B. You go get her for me. Bring her back here.”

  “Not against her will,” Spence said. “I value my life more than that. Did I mention that you’re an idiot asshole?”

  “Yeah. And thanks, that’s super helpful.” Archer’s eyes drifted closed again. The lids were just too heavy. He felt like shit. He could handle the pain and the drug hangover. What he couldn’t handle was Elle out there thinking . . . he didn’t even know. He was stupid in love with her and that scared him but what scared him even more was living without her. “Go get her.”

  Spence just looked at him and Archer narrowed his gaze the best he could while high as a damn kite. “Where is she, Spence?”

  “Hard to say. And we both know that if she wants to lie low, she’s got the skills.”

  “Did she ask you for time off?”

  Again Spence just looked at him.

  “Christ. She did.”

  “Look,” Spence said on a grimace. “I’m between a rock and a hard spot here, okay? You’re both my best friends and—”

  “Yes or no—she asked you for time off, Spence.”

  Spence blew out a sigh. “Yes.”

  Shit. He was definitely too late.

  Chapter 26

  #GivingMeLife

  It was the next day before Archer was finally released from the hospital. He’d spent every second of that time sending his friends to hell and back searching for Elle.

  But she was good at hiding.

  He found out that Morgan was out on bail, thanks to Elle getting her a solid attorney. She’d be pleading for a reduced sentence and restitution. Lars hadn’t made bail, and thanks to his priors, he probably wouldn’t be seeing daylight anytime soon.

  Archer had torn out nearly all of his hair and aged ten years by the time the nurse handed him a stack of prescriptions.

  “Take the first on an empty stomach three times a day,” she said.

  From one of the chairs near his bed, Pru snorted. “I haven’t had an empty stomach since 2001.”

  Archer’s dad smiled. Yeah, his dad was still there. Even in her absence, Elle had managed to put father and son back together. Which meant in the end, she’d saved him and not the other way around.

  And if that wasn’t a big, fat pill to swallow. He’d always done the saving, but not this time.

  He wanted to thank her. He wanted to grab her and haul her in close and never let go. But since he was in no shape to do that—he wasn’t supposed to use his shoulder or arm until further notice—it would be tricky. Hell, at this point, he’d settle for just getting his eyes on her.

  But she still wasn’t answering her phone and if anyone knew where she was, they had a good poker face.

  Joe tossed a small duffle bag on the bed. “Clothes, boss. Figured you might like some undies and shoes to go with that pretty hospital gown and sling.”

  Archer flipped him off, snatched up the bag, and staggered into the bathroom. When he came back out after changing, he was trembling like a baby. Sweating, he sat heavily on the bed. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a fucking truck.”

  “Or a fucking bullet,” Joe said.

  “Still nothing from Elle?” he asked casually.

  But he didn’t fool anyone. They all looked at each other awkwardly. According to all of them, no one had seen or heard from her, but he wasn’t buying it. They were basically family, close-knit, and they were all connected daily by at the very least an ongoing group text or Snapchat. He suspected that the girls knew where Elle was, which meant that the guys likely knew as well, but at least in the case of Finn and Keane, no one wanted to risk being cut off by the women.

  “Look,�
�� he said. “I messed up. We all know that. I messed up big too, on more than one occasion. But I’m trying to fix it. I need to convince her I’m the right man for the job of making her happy, so one of you has got to help me out here.” He paused and sighed. “Please.”

  The please boggled everyone in the room. They weren’t used to the please from him. But he wasn’t messing around. “Well?”

  Willa came and sat next to him, carefully nudging her shoulder to his good one. “Do you know the most beautiful part about loving a guarded woman? It’s that when she finally decides to trust you and lets you in it’s not because she needs you. We all know Elle stopped needing people a long time ago. Elle let you in because she wants you. She wants to be with you, Archer, just as you are, faults and all. She just needs to know that she can trust you to do the same, to love her as she is, faults and all.”

  “I do. Get me out of here so I can go fix this.”

  Spence was out front in Archer’s truck as planned. There were three additional faces pressed against the back passenger window. Not planned.

  “No,” Archer said.

  The back window rolled down and all three faces started talking at once.

  “We can help,” Pru said.

  “You might need us to plead your case,” Willa said.

  “Because you’re alpha,” Kylie explained. “Alphas suck at apologies.”

  “Besides we always do this as a group,” Willa said. “It’s our thing.”

  “How?” Archer asked. “How is this our thing?”

  “Remember Finn groveling to Pru on the roof?” she asked. “We were all there. And then when Willa had to grovel to Keane at his house on Christmas Eve? We were there too. See? It’s our thing.”

  Too tired to argue, Archer sank gratefully onto the passenger seat and let out a careful breath.

  “You need a nap first, old man?” Spence asked.

  He could nap when he was dead. He slid a long look at Spence, who grinned.

  “Just saying, you look a little rough. Maybe you want to wait until—”

  “No,” Archer said. “Elle’s waited long enough for me to get my head out of my ass.”

  From the backseat, Willa clapped her hands and bounced up and down. “Are you going to grovel? You’re going to, right? I want to see it!”

  “Do you need some groveling tips?” Kylie asked.

  Since it hurt like hell to crane his neck, he had to be happy with sending them both dirty looks via the rearview mirror.

  Kylie held up a sleeping Vinnie. “Look,” she said. “A puppy.”

  Willa snorted at this attempt at distraction and took Vinnie to cuddle him close.

  “Where to?” Spence asked.

  They all stared at each other, making Archer realize that they actually really didn’t know where Elle was.

  “She’s not at her office,” Spence said.

  “Nor at home,” Kylie said. “I went by there.”

  Archer leaned back and closed his eyes to think. Clearly she’d wanted to be alone. Why? To lick her wounds. She’d never liked an audience when she was hurting or feeling vulnerable. He had no doubt that wherever she was, she was holed up by herself, thinking too hard. Which would lead to bad memories from the past, their past, probably all the way back to when this whole thing had started, and just like that he knew. “I know where she is,” he said, straightening in his seat. “But I’ve got a detour to make first.”

  Half an hour later, just as the sun was setting, Archer directed Spence to the park where he’d first met Elle that long ago fateful night.

  “There,” Willa said as they parked, pointing to the battered playground that included monkey bars, a swing set, and a slide attached to a jungle gym. The grass had died long ago, if there’d ever been any in the first place, leaving overgrown weeds.

  A figure sat on one of those two swings, a curvy, beautiful blonde overdressed for the neighborhood. Possibly the first person to ever sit on one of those swings in four-inch heels.

  It was almost funny to him that he’d warned himself not to fall for her because his life was so dangerous, when the truth was that her life had sometimes been much more dangerous than his.

  His heart had been sitting heavily in his gut ever since he’d realized she’d taken off on him and it didn’t go back to its designated spot in his chest now either. She’d had a messed-up childhood but in spite of that, or maybe because of it, she’d become the most amazing woman he’d ever met. He’d tried to tell himself that she wasn’t for him, that she deserved far better, and that was all still true.

  But he didn’t want to let her go.

  He got out of the truck and turned back when he heard everyone else shift to get out as well. “Stay,” he said.

  “But—”

  “But—”

  “But—”

  He held up his good hand. “I’ve got this.”

  “You sure?” Willa asked doubtfully.

  No. And actually, he’d never been less sure of anything in his life. “I have to do this alone.”

  They all nodded reluctantly.

  “I’ll call you when I need a ride back,” he said.

  “It’s kinda cute that he thinks we’re leaving, isn’t it?” Willa asked Spence.

  “Yeah, but is it cute or delusional?” Spence asked.

  “Both,” Pru said. “With more than a touch of ego.”

  Taking in a deep breath, Archer turned and walked across the sand pit and grass, heading toward the swings.

  Elle saw him coming and braced herself. She’d come out here to remember. To think. To put things in perspective, but although she’d been here a while, she hadn’t been succeeding at any of it. Not until Archer had shown up with the cavalry, whom he’d apparently told to stay put.

  And of course they had.

  They loved him. They’d do anything for him, including—she thought a little darkly—help him find her.

  She couldn’t be mad. She’d needed this, needed him to come after her.

  She had to admit to herself she was impressed that he’d located her. But then again, when Archer wanted something, he was doggedly determined, and against all the odds, he wanted her. She knew that much. Just as she knew she’d run scared. It’d never been about her doubting him. It was her doubting herself. She had no track record at this love game and it terrified her how much power her feelings for Archer held over her.

  He didn’t attempt to get on the swing next to her but sat on the bench facing her, looking pale and shaky, making her heart squeeze.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “No. My arm and shoulder are on fire and my balance is shit.” He paused and let out a low laugh. “But just the sight of you has me finally breathing again, so there’s that. Will you sit with me, Elle? And notice that I asked, because you like to be asked, not told. See? Learning new tricks.”

  She smiled at that, but he didn’t. “We need to talk, Elle.”