The Summer Deal Read online

  Now, not only had she revealed her heart and soul, but she’d given it away. To a man who had no idea. But . . . she wouldn’t take it back. Not when it felt so good. So right. Which meant it was time to make a new deal with herself. And it needed to be far less complicated than the last, since apparently she couldn’t think in Eli’s presence. This time, she was going to do the opposite. She would take action when she was moved to action.

  And she planned to be moved to action often.

  In Eli’s bed.

  She was tired of pushing feelings aside. If given the chance, she’d embrace every emotion he stirred up in her. She had no illusions of keeping him forever, but she trusted him enough to give her what she wanted. At least for now, since their wants—and needs—seemed to be aligned.

  And, oh, how they aligned . . .

  She smiled all through her shower, thinking, hoping that this could actually work. Up until now, everything lacking in her life had been her own doing. She’d been wary of getting involved with anyone because she’d chosen poorly in the past. But Eli gave her his time and his affection, all freely. He didn’t hold back from her. He didn’t ask for anything in return. He only seemed to want one thing—her, just as she was.

  And that was something she could actually offer.

  She dressed for work—still smiling—and finally told her reflection in the mirror to stop thinking about last night because right now she needed caffeine and her keys. This meant leaving the safety of her bedroom, but there was also another really good reason to do so. Because she was missing her bra from last night. It hadn’t been in Eli’s sheets or on his floor. Which meant she’d lost it earlier than that. Like on the stairs.

  Not good.

  And wherever it’d landed, it wasn’t visible. Maybe it’d sailed over the railing. At the bottom of the stairs, she turned into the reading nook and began to search the loveseat there. She got down on all fours and peered under it.

  “Looking for this?”

  Brynn jerked upright and hit her head. Swearing, she straightened, and holding on to the top of her head, which hurt like a son of a bitch, she stared past the great shoes to the bra dangling from Kinsey’s finger.

  Brynn snatched it from her and shoved it into her oversized bag.

  “Sleeping with a roommate seems a little risky,” Kinsey said lightly.

  Also stupid, but hey, that ship had sailed.

  Kinsey looked at her for a beat. “Do we need to have a talk?”

  “I’m not going to hurt him. And he’s a big boy.” In more ways than one . . .

  “Actually,” Kinsey said. “It was you I was worried about.”

  Brynn laughed. “Okay.”

  “Hey,” Kinsey said, looking a little insulted. Then she blew out a sigh. “Look, I’m a bitch. I know that. I’m also a pit bull about those I care about.”

  “And suddenly I’m one of those people?”

  “Yes. I told you I wanted to be friends. I don’t lie. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

  “And how do you know I’ve been hurt?”

  “Am I wrong?” Kinsey gave her a “get real” look. “You showed up here with only a duffel bag, looking like a kicked puppy. How dumb do you think I am? Your last boyfriend was an asshole, right?”

  Brynn crossed her arms over herself. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

  “And some of us make more than others,” she said, raising her own hand. “All I’m saying is that even though Eli’s one of the best guys I know, someone I’m also worried that you’re going to inadvertently hurt, you have to look out for yourself.”

  Brynn was about to laugh again, but Kinsey wasn’t laughing. And she wasn’t being a smart-ass either. “Let me get this straight. Even though you’re worried I’m going to hurt your best friend, you’re warning me off him . . . for my sake?”

  “I’m just saying you need to protect yourself. Wear a shield.”

  “Is that what you do?”

  Kinsey’s smile faded. “Yes. And mine’s permanent.”

  “Maybe I’m not built like that.”

  “Nothing in life lasts, Brynn. I hope you know that, and what you’re doing.”

  Ditto.

  ELI SURFACED FROM a dive on the job next to Demi, his work and dive partner. He hung back so she could get on board the work boat first, watching as Max assisted her.

  Eli was . . . exhausted. His ass was seriously dragging. That’s what happened when one stayed up all night worshipping a woman’s body. He had zero regrets, but damn, he’d pay big money for a burger and fries and then eight hours of shut eye.

  He and Demi had gotten a late start on the day’s dive because he’d made a stop at the funeral home, where he’d finally been able to deal with his grandma’s remains.

  Thanks to Brynn.

  His grandma would now be buried next to her husband, just as she’d always wanted. She hadn’t gotten blessed by her priest and she’d been cremated, and Eli would forever blame his mom for going against her mom’s wishes, but the priest had said he’d be honored to bless the remains before burial. It was the best Eli could do, and he had to take his peace from that.

  Now he was treading water in the ocean on a day so clear that there was barely a line where the sky and the sea met.

  Demi was boarded. So, pulling off his mask, he reached for the swim platform on the back of the boat. Demi was already all the way to the bow of the boat, out of hearing range, drying off.

  “Cutting it close,” Max noted quietly, eyeing his phone and the timer app he had going. “I asked Demi about it and she said you wanted to get the last of some measurement I didn’t understand. A stupid measurement.”

  Eli tossed his mask on board. “It wasn’t just some stupid measurement.”

  Max shook his head and reached out, grabbing Eli’s gear while Eli rolled onto the swim platform and onto his back. “Don’t do that again.”

  Eli heard the tremor in his brother’s voice and lost the smile. “You okay?”

  “People drop out of our life like fleas, man. I’m not going to lose you too, especially not over some microbes or organisms or whatever the fuck you’re doing down there.”

  Eli set a hand on Max’s arm, but Max shoved it off.

  While he put both Eli’s and Demi’s equipment where it went, Max’s movements were jerky and very unlike his usually easygoing gait.

  Eli stood in his way and waited until Max looked at him.

  “What?”

  “You’re right, and I’m sorry,” Eli said. “I won’t do that again.”

  Max glared at him, then, seeing the honesty in Eli’s gaze, slowly lost the hostility and nodded.

  Eli pulled him in to give him a full-body—and very wet—hug.

  “You’re such an asshole,” Max muttered, trying to pull free.

  The kid might have an inch on him, but Eli had the muscle. He grinned and held tight. “Not until you say you love me.”

  Max was laughing now, struggling to free himself. “You’re such a dumbass.”

  “Say it.”

  “Fuck off.”

  “Say it. Say you love me.”

  “You love me.”

  Eli shook his head. “Not letting go until you say I love you.”

  “I said it. You love me.”

  “I swear I’ll dump you right over the edge.”

  “We’re at work,” Max said. “Demi’s looking at us like we’re a pair of idiots.”

  “Ask me if I give a shit. I love you, and I want to hear you say it back.”

  Max let out a rough laugh. “I love you, you crazy-ass idiot. Now let me go. And I’m using your towel.”

  Eli let him go and watched as he indeed grabbed Eli’s towel and moved off to finish taking care of the equipment while still watching the boat’s controls as he’d been hired to. He got everything in order and then squatted low at Eli’s side, looking him over with careful eyes, which he hadn’t been hired to do.

  “You’re exhausted,” Max said. “
You should never have gone out in this condition.”

  “I’m good.”

  Max looked him over again and shook his head. “You’re wrecked.”

  More like an empty husk of a man. Literally. He wasn’t sure how many times he’d had Brynn, but he’d depleted all bodily fluids, plus any reserves he’d had in the tank.

  And . . . he was lying to himself. He knew exactly how many times he’d had her last night, and it still hadn’t been enough. He forced himself to sit up to get the rest of his gear off. Then he needed to get back to the marina and to his desk to make notes on today’s findings.

  “You know it’s stupid dangerous to dive when you’re so distracted, right?”

  “Again, thanks, Mom.”

  “Shit.” Max pushed his ballcap off, ran his fingers through his hair, then shoved the hat back on his head, backward this time. He pointed at Eli. “Something’s up with you.”

  “I’m fine.”

  Max lifted a single brow. They didn’t keep secrets from each other. “Then I’ll tell you what’s up,” he said. “You slept with her.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I was with Kinsey when she found Brynn’s bra dangling from the stair railing.”

  Shit.

  “Yeah.” Max laughed. “Definitely a rookie mistake.”

  Eli started to strip off his wet suit.

  “I mean, who does that, sleeps with their roommate?” Max asked casually.

  “You,” Eli said. “Usually it’s you.”

  Max pointed at him. “Exactly. And if memory serves, you warned me off hitting on her. And then you did it instead.”

  “We’re not talking about this.”

  “So should I be upset that I missed out?”

  Eli rose to his feet and took a step toward Max, who immediately put his hands up, but instead of an apologetic look on his face, he laughed.

  Eli turned his back on his idiot brother and stared out at the water. He purposely let out a long breath, counting in his head until he lost the urge to put his fist through Max’s knowing smile. It took a minute. Or ten. When he turned back to Max, his brother offered him a bottle of water, his smug-ass smile gone.

  “So you didn’t just tap that,” Max said quietly. “You fell for that. And hard.” He nodded and tipped his bottle of water to Eli’s. “About time, man. You deserve it.”

  Eli shook his head. “What am I doing? She hasn’t even brought her boxes into the house from her trunk. Her job’s temporary. She’s probably got one foot out the door.”

  Max shook his head. “She’s scared. I’m guessing she’s been given the short end of the stick so many times she’s convinced herself temporary everything is the only way to go. She’s shaking in her boots over getting attached to us, but most especially to you.”

  “So what do I do?”

  Max shrugged. “Give her a reason to grow roots.”

  Eli just looked at him.

  His brother looked right back, steadily, a slow smile curving his lips. “Even though you don’t know you’re doing it yet, it’s really good to see you engaging in some feels, man.”

  Didn’t feel nice. Felt scary as fuck.

  He got home, planning on taking Brynn out wherever she wanted to go. Getting out of his car, he caught sight of something on the beach that had him walking across the street to the sand. Because to his utter shock, Kinsey and Brynn were at one of the three volleyball courts, throwing down in a game that looked very serious for the two most uncoordinated, unathletic people he’d ever met.

  Brynn had the ball. She served and got Kinsey right in the center of the forehead. Brynn gasped in horror and went running toward Kinsey, yelling, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!”

  Kinsey touched the spot on her head and pointed at Brynn, eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare come over here and ask me if I’m okay, like I’m some fragile little snowflake.” She then snatched the ball and got in position to serve.

  With a squeak, Brynn whirled and ran back to her spot.

  Kinsey was in shorts and a fitted tank that read, PEOPLE, NOT A BIG FAN. She had sand stuck to her—everywhere. Her face was red and sweaty, her hair piled on top of her head as she pointed at Brynn.

  Brynn was in shorts and a tank as well—hers had a smiley face on it. She was also hot and sweaty, but she was grinning, and as Kinsey pointed at her, Brynn gave her a double-handed, universal “bring it on” gesture.

  Deck stood on the sidelines, his son, Toby, on his shoulders, the both of them cheering the girls on.

  “Get her, Ms. Davis,” Toby yelled.

  “Just don’t kill her, Kins,” Deck called out.

  Kinsey served, and since she sucked at it—Eli should know, he’d made the mistake of being in a league with her and she’d lost them every game they’d played—the ball hit the net.

  This year, he and Max had switched from a three-man team to a two-man team, cutting Kinsey out.

  She still hadn’t forgiven him.

  She swore impressively and waited for Brynn to serve. Brynn’s body moved more easily than Kinsey’s, who’d spent most of her life feeling sick. He could tell Brynn didn’t feel off, but she also had zero idea of the power of her own body. She moved with a slight awkwardness that told him she wasn’t one hundred percent convinced her limbs were her own. And yet that smile . . . that girl-next-door smile slayed him every time.

  She missed the net by a mile and shrugged. “Don’t want to beat you too fast,” she called out.

  Okay, so the girl-next-door—with an edge.

  Adorable.

  And sexy as hell.

  Suddenly, standing there watching the sisters beating the shit out of each other, yearning for Brynn in ways that went far deeper than their animal attraction, everything Max had said sunk in and clicked, and the epiphany punched him in the face.

  He was tired of standing on the sidelines, tired of letting life, love pass him by. He wanted Brynn. He wanted her in his bed, but also in his heart, where truthfully, she’d already made a home for herself.

  Definitely one of the scariest thoughts he’d had in a long time. But with a deep breath, he stepped off the sidelines, both emotionally and physically.

  The women looked over at him. Both hot and sweaty, while at the same time using the civilities of the game to go at each other, both giving him very different looks.

  Kinsey was in competitive mode and didn’t want to be interrupted. Nothing new. He often irritated her just by breathing. But she also loved him, so she gave him a thumbs-up and then a “go away” gesture.

  Brynn was in competitive mode as well, a mode he hadn’t realized she even had, but she didn’t mind the interruption. She didn’t love him, at least not yet, but he hoped to change that.

  And that was truly the scariest thought he’d had in a long time.

  Chapter 18

  From sixteen-year-old Kinsey’s summer camp journal:

  Dear Journal,

  I’m in the hospital again, an infection this time. A shrink came to talk to me. He told me I needed to write down my feelings. I guess people are worried, but whatever, I told him I don’t care.

  He said I should care, but that until I could care for myself, others would for me. He said I should consider the journal my homework. I hate homework.

  But here goes nothing. One week after I had the surgery last year, the kid who gave me his kidney . . .

  Died.

  Because of me.

  It was an infection from the surgery. Rare, they said, but whatever. He’s gone and it’s my fault. He wouldn’t be dead if he hadn’t donated a kidney.

  And that’s not even the worst part. My body is rejecting his kidney. So I now officially hate my body more than I hate you. How’s that for irony, dear journal?

  I caught Eli searching for black-market kidneys on the internet and I made him SWEAR to me he’d stop. I refuse to take another kidney from another breathing soul. Which I get only leaves me one option, an option I don’t wanna th
ink about.

  Whatever.

  Kinsey

  IT WAS SATURDAY, Kinsey’s favorite day of the week. She had her eyes closed, her face tilted upward to the sun as she inhaled the salty sea air, smiling as a few drops of ocean hit her skin. Sitting with her legs crossed, she raised her arms out at her sides and tilted her face back. “This is better than sex.”

  “I’m going to make you take that back later,” Deck said from behind her, where he stood manning the paddleboard that she was sitting on like a queen.

  “And I’ll enjoy you trying to make me take that back.”

  His bark of laughter had a smile crossing her face, and she was glad he couldn’t see her. Deck didn’t have a confidence problem. No sense in giving his ego even more room in that sexy brain of his.

  “Faster,” she said.

  “Yep, you’re going to say that later too.”

  She grinned and opened her eyes to take in the glorious sight of nothing but azure-blue Pacific Ocean in front of her. They’d left land behind, and also, it seemed, the entire world.

  She loved paddleboarding. She loved the minimalism of it. There was no gear required other than the paddle. Just her and the board—and the sexy guy behind her. There was something about being out here, no set plan, surrounded by nothing but water as far as the eye could see, that thrilled and exhilarated her. Maybe it was because her life was always so structured, and completely orbited around her treatments and dialysis, that made this so incredibly freeing.

  She didn’t do meditation. She didn’t have a Zen bone in her body. But being on the water with the gentle sway of the swells beneath them and the light spray of saltwater hitting her body and the warm sun on her face was . . . life changing. This was her church.

  She had a bucket list, comprised of things she couldn’t do. Walking the Great Wall of China. Skydiving. Running a marathon.

  Okay, so running a marathon wasn’t really on her list. Even if she could run without feeling like complete shit, she wouldn’t want to. But maybe that’s why she had it on there. Because, dammit, she wanted to be able to pick her own limitations and not have them decided for her.

  “I want to paddle,” she said. “I want to stand up and paddle.”